Weather

You may recall that I posted a number of photos of where I used to live when it snowed during the first couple of months this year.
It does also rain here in NJ. We got an inch or two this afternoon in about an hour's downpour. This is a snap of the woods; unfortunately the camera is good enough to peer through the rain - visibility was actually quite limited, so I used flash and you can see the raindrops captured en route to wetting my toes! Yes, those big circles are raindrops - the camera lens stayed dry throughout (not sure how!).

TTFN

A Healthy Attitude Towards Work

Quite some time ago, in a workplace that shall, hopefully, remain nameless and unidentified, I was sent this email. It surfaced the other day as I was doing some cleaning-up, and I thought I'd share it with you all.

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: New Company Policy

DRESS CODE

• It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
• If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
• If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
  

SICK DAYS

• We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
  

PERSONAL DAYS

• Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They're called "Saturday" & "Sunday".

TOILET USE

• Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken.

• After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
  

LUNCH BREAK

• SKINNY EMPLOYEES get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
  

• NORMAL SIZE EMPLOYEES get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
  

• CHUBBY EMPLOYEES get five minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
  

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations,
aggravations,insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations,
consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

TTFN

Busy Month

Well that's been a busy month, that has! I've been hard at work all day and studying for a lot of the evenings too. Hence the utter lack of a squeak from me.

[Tech Stuff]
I've been doing a lot of studying recently, mainly on SQL Server things but some Oracle too. The most visible result - aside from me appearing tired out half the time - is that the links on this blog have split, spawning a Tech Links section. This is because I use this blog as a hub where I know I can find the most important places to go and read and relax, and sometimes it just has to be somewhat work-related.

So recently I've been the beneficiary of webinars from quite a few well-known luminaries in the field, including Brent Ozar, recently of Quest and now of SQLSkills, Brian and Devin Knight of PragmaticWorks, and Kevin Kline of Quest, amongst others. My brain is definitely moving in the right direction, but boy does it hurt at times !

[Not Tech]
We visited The Fudge Shop in Flemington (on Rt 202 in NJ) again today, and spent way too much on chocolate. There's only one problem with that place - it's not too far away to go to when one really needs a chocolate fix! They hand-make all their own things - today there was a guy just behind the counter making chocolate bricks! - and the aroma that hits you as you walk in is as tangible as a brick wall! If you like chocolate, GO THERE!

My son and the ex are down at the shore on LBI this week, so the weather's suddenly getting less oppressive - and the water's about 80F - ! Hopefully we'll be able to go to the PA Rennaissance Faire in September; I know that my son's eagerly looking forward to seeing Barely Balanced again and, to be honest, so am I. The RenFaire crowd are all happy and friendly, despite the huge numbers of people there every weekend, and BB are just one of the acts that stand out.

TTFN